Curiosity and Creativity

Children, by nature, are unencumbered by what their creativity produces (their joy is in the process), until they absorb from our culture that the product of their expression matters more. 

Curiosity invites us to touch, poke our fingers into, turn over to examine, and ask questions. Curiosity is the flame that ignites investigation and creativity. The difficult thing for parents, in our needs to control and keep safe the Child we are raising, is realizing that the Child is behind their own steering wheel and we have to be ok just going for the ride. 

The pull of curiosity is strong in all of us. Only experiences that lead us to feel that curiosity is wrong, or develop in us a lack of trust in our curiosity, will cut us off from this natural and necessary tendency.

Forcing a child to be curious about something is not appropriate either as we may be simply motivated by what interests us, or what the Child Self was not allowed to ask.  What attracts the Child is what we need to respond to. We can offer up anything, and should, but there is an ineffable quality around a child’s curiosity. 

When the Child Self fears exploration, resists being curious, or leaps ahead without discernment we can be pretty sure that as children our needs around our curiosity were not fully met. We may have been told to “not touch”, to “wait until later” and then forgotten about, or “to go ahead” without any boundaries to keep us safe and reasonable. 

Over the years of my professional practice, I have had the amazing opportunity to train many teachers. One of my favorite workshops is on curiosity and creativity. My goal is always for teachers to foster the Child’s creative intelligence by encouraging and not interfering with the Child’s natural curiosity. Our creative intelligence lets us to take in “what is” and ponder how it can be changed or imagined differently. When we derail curiosity with our own judgmental reactions, we thwart the Child’s confidence and freedom to develop creative intelligence. At the same time, when children test the limits of “what is" in unsafe or dangerous ways, adults need to set limits to protect children from harm, which also protects their curiosity and expression. The Child needs to express their curiosity and creativity and needs a container that maximizes safe, unbiased freedom. 

As with so many aspects of parenting a Child, our own egos can prevent us from allowing and encouraging a child’s curiosity to freely develop. This is what I mean. As parents, we need to let go of our attachment to how and where our children direct their curiosity.  We need to pay attention to our children’s reactions (interest, lack of interest, frustration) in our efforts to guide them in what we think should interest them. 

I was with a young family when a three-year-old was dismantling a toy and the parents wanted him to engage in our conversation. They commented to me that he was “pretending not to be interested.” I asked the child, “Are you paying attention to us while you take that apart, or do you just want to pay attention to taking that apart?”  His answer was, “I just want to take this apart.” His parents were frustrated because he was not showing curiosity in the adult conversation. Removing our expectations can be liberating for the parent and the Child. 

This is one way to encourage the Child: 

“I see you are so curious about the toy. If you want, tell me what you think or notice about it. Is there something you would like to do with it? We are talking over here and are happy to include you, can you do both things?”

It is likely that during some of your most curious moments as a child an adult interrupted, thwarted, or demeaned you for not focusing on their expectations. As an adult that same judging voice can show up when you are drawn to some new thought, interest, or creative energy. Notice when you are hesitating, stopping, or thinking negatively about it and replace that negativity with self-encouragement. 

To the Child Self say:

“Little one, your curiosity is good and valuable. Thinking, planning, and creating are all good and deserve attention.” 

Working in schools, one of the first things I find important to address is the way art materials are presented to children as well as the way adults respond to children’s artistic expression. I am an advocate of discovery and experimentation, that is, process not product. We want children to see art materials as things to explore. The Child’s instinct and the task they need to accomplish with art materials is to discover their mechanics, natures, effectiveness, and manipulability, for instance, “What happens when I do this? What if I try it this way? What will this do? What skills do I need to create what I want? This is true of music as well. When we prescribe to the Child what they must do with materials, we are blocking their natural development, curiosity, and creativity. 

Jeffrey was seven years old when he tried out for the all-school choir. To join, he had to stand up in the auditorium and match his voice to the notes the music teacher played on the piano. He was not good at it; it was not natural to him. The teacher announced to him, out loud, in front of the entire auditorium (probably about 30 kids, but according to him it felt like thousands) that he was tone deaf and could not sing in the choir. Devastated, he did not sing aloud again until he was twelve and went to camp. There, the kids screamed out the songs and he knew his voice was lost in the crowd. His mother cringed when he sang, and he knew it. She was a singer and probably disappointed that he was not. 

It would have been better if she had been honest with him, perhaps like this: 

“Jeffrey, everyone sings and can sing, some people sing in a way that is good for choirs, but everyone can sing and that’s a good thing, a beautiful thing and everyone should sing.  That teacher was wrong, and all children should be allowed in a children’s choir if they want. You don’t have to have special talent to sing and enjoy it.” 

As an adult Jeffrey loves to sing, he sings all the time, especially to his kids and partner and someday he hopes to sing to his grandkids. He has had to help his Child Self, because the injury was deep:

“Little One: I know you were hurt when you were told not to sing. That was wrong. Everyone sings and needs to sing if they want to.” 

What is disturbing is the effect our comments have on the Child and ultimately the Child Self. Children, by nature, are unencumbered by what their creativity produces (their joy is in the process), until they absorb from our culture that the product of their expression matters more. When the Child feels that the product of their efforts won’t be judged or doesn’t need to be special, their creative joy is unimpeded. That’s when creative intelligence has a chance to flourish. 

We need to be extra careful in what we say about their visual art. When we ask a child, for instance, “What is that or what is that supposed to be,” we are inserting our adult need to consciously understand and interpret what has most likely been an unconscious expression for the Child. The Child may not know or have a reason for what they have created. Because artistic expression is intimate, adults must let go of the “what.” 

There are supportive and encouraging ways to talk to the Child about what they’ve created, but you need the Child’s permission to do so: 

“You have been putting paint on paper, can I say something about it?” or “I see blue and red and the middle part where it comes together. Do you want to tell me about the painting. You don’t have to? I like just seeing it. “

To the Child Self, we can say: 

“Here is the truth, little one, you hear the voice that your expression was supposed to be something, something of value. But I love that you painted, let the painting be what it is. When you were little, it would have been helpful if an adult left you alone when you painted and you felt no pressure to please anyone with your paintings. The adults should have asked you if you wanted their questions or comments. “

In all facets of our lives curiosity and creativity are important even though they are not necessarily measurable. Releasing curiosity and creativity from judgement is supportive of developing the creative intelligence that can benefit all of society. 

©D'vorah Horn 2025. We invite you to share this work, but please do not copy any portion without attribution to D'vorah Horn.